Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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