this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
