I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
