Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
