I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
