Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
not ubering you a puppy
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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