Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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