Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Ketchup is God's man juice
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
