so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
he shaved USA in his pubs
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
