He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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