So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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