Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Michael Bay diarrhea
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
