Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
