I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
