You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
