what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
birth control should be required to get into college
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Randomize
