she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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