That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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