frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
