Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
