he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
