yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
