you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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