He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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