I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
