ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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