We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
