I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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