That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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