Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
