let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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