Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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