I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
