My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
