Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
