If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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