if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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