Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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