as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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