so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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