I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
vagina is talking i cant
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
