Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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