Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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