Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Hippo gnu deer
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
