The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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