Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i will never coherently bang her
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
