It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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