My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
