it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
