They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
