i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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