Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You have to summon your inner elephant
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
